Politics/Transcript


 * (kids talks, title card appears) Kids: Politics!
 * Robot: Today's school agenda revolves on site research and examination. Field trip.
 * Lenny: Hey Robot, do you even know what a field trip is?
 * Robot: I presume it is a trip to a field. (dreams)
 * Lenny: Hee hee hee hee. This dumb-butt thinks a field trip is a trip to a field!
 * Socks: Don't mind them, Robot. Any reason not to be in school is a good thing. Oh, we're here!
 * Mr. McMcMc: Alright, sit still and listen up. As you may or may not know, student council elections are coming up! (student groans) So, we're at the Hall of Presidents to learn a little about famous presidents of the past. (student groans again) I want you all to be on your best behavior during this one of a kind learning experience. (student groans again)
 * Robot: Yay! Input.
 * (the students walked out of the bus)
 * Socks: Get ready for a snooze fest, Robot. This is gonna be boring.
 * Robot: On the contrary, I find informational programming one of the most stimulating experiences a robot can have. (The Yogmans prank Robot)
 * Denny: How's that for stimulating?
 * Lenny: Dumb-butt!
 * Socks: Those stupid Yogmans. Don't let them spoil your fun.
 * Robot: I will not.
 * (Inside the Hall of Presidents, the curtains are opening)
 * Richard Nixon animatronic: Ladies...
 * Franklin Roosevelt animatronic: and gentlemen!
 * George H.W. Bush animatronic: Welcome...
 * George Washington animatronic: to the world famous...
 * All animatronics: Hall of Presidents! (fireworks)
 * Abraham Lincoln animatronic: Friends, countrymen, lend me your ears! Four score and seven years ago, we did some presidenty stuff. We spreaded--
 * Robot: Robo scan indicates artifical lifeform present. Wow! I did not know that all of the famous presidents were of robot origin! I should have guess, it takes a great intellect to be the president. (Robot dreams) I bet I could be class president of Polyneux Middle School. I bet I could even be president of the United States, or maybe, ruler of the cosmos!
 * Abraham Lincoln animatronic: And, in conclusion, God bless America! (curtains closed, only Mr. McMcMc and Robot clap)
 * Robot: Fantastic!
 * Mr. McMcMc: I hope, today's field trip inspired some of you to consider running in the student elections.
 * Robot: I am inspired. Searching memory banks for information on politics.
 * Narrator: Subject 6, 26a: Politics. When running for political office, a candidate is chosen by the people. They then set out to convince as many people as they can to vote for them. Whoever gets the most votes wins. (The information appears on screen)
 * Robot: I will do it.
 * (In class)
 * Mr. McMcMc: Alright, alright, now class, we're gonna nominate some brats...ehem, I mean kids for student council. Any nominations? (Robot raises his hand) Yes, Robot?
 * Robot: I nominate myself.
 * Mr. McMcMc: Ehm, alright. Does anyone second the nomination?
 * Socks: I will, Mr. McMcMc.
 * Mr. McMcMc: Okay. Any other nominations?
 * Socks: I think you make an awesome president, Robot, and you're gonna need a campaign manager. Someone who can strategize, pull some strengths. Stick with me, Robot, and together, we'll rule the school. (transitions) Robot, I know when we started this campaign, I said you should come up with some slogans. But are these really the best you could come up with?
 * Robot: They are all true.
 * Socks: Yeah, but--
 * Shannon: Hey guys.
 * Socks: Hey, Shannon.
 * Robot: Hello, Shannon.
 * Shannon: Woah, I hear you're running for class president.
 * Socks: Not me. Robot Jones.
 * Shannon: Oh, it's you, Robot? That's cool.
 * Robot: Affirmative. It is cool.
 * Socks: Go on, give her a flyer. (Robot prints it out with his mouth, and Shannon runs away)
 * Socks: Good one. (transitions) I think what you need is to make some campaign promises. Something to get the people on your side.
 * Robot: Okay. Attention, students of Polyneux Middle School. If I am elected as president, I promise to increase homework, shorten lunchtime, and do away with frivolous summer vacation so we can be in school ALL YEAR! (All the students boo at him, but Principal Madman claps)
 * Principal Madman: Bravo. Bravo, Mr. Jones. This sounds like a campaign I can really get behind. Let me shake your hand.
 * Socks: Do it, Robot. This will be some good press.
 * (Robot painfully shakes his hand)
 * Principal Madman: ROBOT JONES!
 * (newspaper transition, with the headline "PRINCIPAL CRIES LIKE BABY")
 * Socks: Robot, I...uh, call this meeting as a progress report to see where we stand. This is what the polls are showing. You started out kinda low, and, well, I had to take a few extra sheets on. And then a few more. And another. It just kinda keeps going, and going, right out the door even. (Robot gets sad) Cheer up, Robot. Tomorrow, we'll turn you around when we make your big speech to the school. I've got just the plan for you, my friend. What you need, is a whole new image.
 * Robot: What image is that?
 * Socks: Well, I haven't gotten that far yet. But, I know this is going in the right direction.
 * Robot: New...image...(Robot comes up with an idea)
 * (the next morning)
 * Mr. McMcMc: Alright, everybody settle down, settle down, we're gonna hear a bit from each of our candidates today.
 * Cubey: This oughta be good.
 * Mitch: Yeah.
 * Socks: Have you guys seen Robot? I can't find him anywhere!
 * Mitch: We thought he was with you.
 * Socks: Oh no.
 * Mr. McMcMc: Our first candidate...Robot Jones.
 * Socks: I don't feel so good
 * Mr. McMcMc: Robot Jones? Is Robot Jones in the auditorium? (the lights get turned off) Hey! Someone turn on the light! (Robot enters, dressed up as Abraham Lincoln) Yah...who is that?
 * Robot: It is me, Lord President. I have a dream.
 * Socks: Robot?
 * Robot: Four score and seven years ago...don't tread on me.
 * Mr. McMcMc: Uh...uh..is...is...is that you, Robot?
 * Robot: Lend me your ears.
 * Mr. McMcMc: Uh...okay. (runs away)
 * Robot: Students of Polyneux! I command you all! You will vote for me. You will make me your president. Robot Jones will be the supreme commander of all humans. There is no choice. Vote now! Vote now! Vote now! (launches fireworks)
 * Socks: What is he doing?
 * Mr. McMcMc: Everybody out! Run for it!
 * Mitch: Well, that was interesting.
 * (voting montage)
 * Robot: I cannot wait to be Supreme Leader of all humans.
 * Socks: This election is for class president, Robot.
 * Robot: The longest journey starts with but a single step. We are assured.
 * (Applause box lights up, Mr. McMcMc enters)
 * Socks: Here we go. (applause and speaking)
 * Mr. McMcMc: Hello class, and welcome to Results Are In, where we announce the new class president of Polyneux.
 * Socks: Okay, this is it, Robot. Don't get nervous.
 * Robot: Do not worry. I have nerves of steel. No really. They are made of steel.
 * Mr. McMcMc: May I have the envelope, please.
 * Socks: Uh-oh.
 * Mr. McMcMc: The new class president is...
 * Robot: Robot Jones?
 * Mr. McMcMc: No, it's not Robot Jones. It's...George! (kids cheer for him, while Robot and Socks slam their faces on the desk)
 * Robot: Data Log Entry. Politics requires enthusiasm, good public relations, and a charismatic personality. However, it seems the efficency and mental superiority of the candidate is not what human voters look for. I discovered that image is very important. Final analysis: I compute, that in politics, in order to get ahead, you must be sure to choose the right head. (Robot breaks into the Hall of Presidents. Meanwhile... George is offically class president)
 * George: Order! Order! For my first act as class president-- (Robot breaks in, with a Principal Madman-shaped head) What?
 * Robot: Grumble grumble grumble. Growl growl growl. Growl growl growl, grumble grumble grumble grumble.
 * George: Principal Madman?
 * (he and Mr. McMcMc get slips)
 * George and Mr. McMcMc: 3 years of detention?
 * Robot: Growl growl growl grumble. (kicks Mr. McMcMc) Growl growl growl grumble grumble grumble, growl growl growl.
 * George: I give up!
 * Robot: Order. Order. I am supreme ruler of Polyneux Middle School. All must obey. Now!
 * (all the student boo at him. Robot winks)