Vacuum Friend/Transcript

WARNING! PLEASE NOTE, THIS TRANSCRIPT HAS BEEN CONCLUDED BY UNSIGNED USER ”B PURCELL” TO BE INCOMPLETE AND A WORK IN PROGRESS; MORE COMING SOON....

 * (Kid reads title)
 * Kid 1: I'll trade you, my cream filled, toasted Sugar O's, for your bacon-flavored, chewy meat stick.
 * Kid 2: You, sir, have a deal.
 * Kid 1: Ten four!
 * Kid 3: Okay, how 'bout my chocolate covered peanuts for your sour apple cracker kernels?
 * Kid 4: Sure.
 * Socks: Hey Robot, wanna trade something for my bana--Oh.
 * (Oil drops)
 * Socks: Uh, nevermind.
 * (School bell rings)
 * Kid 5: And I said, "Yeah, you and your face." (everyone laughs)
 * Robot: Did you hear the one about the mathematical computative data processor? He could only translate algorithmic decodor logarithms.
 * Kid 6: Whatever. (everyone leaves)
 * Socks: Hey Robot, how's it go- (he accidentally touches Robot’s “ear”, which shocks him) [wince] Yeowch! Uh, yeah. Actually Robot, I just wanted to know if you wanted to come to my after school pool party.
 * Robot: Pool party? (bubble appears, Robot does a cannonball and electrocutes everyone) Oh, uh, no thanks.
 * Socks: Uh, yeah, okay. Maybe next time. Hey everybody, after school pool party! (crowd cheers)
 * Baby: Pool party! Pool party! It's a human pool party!
 * (birds chirping)
 * Robot: Hello? Mom Unit? (door opens) Dad Unit? (door opens) Hello? Gramps Unit?
 * (beeping)
 * Robot: It seems Gramps Unit could use a reboot.
 * Kids: Push it! Turn it! Drop it! Crank it! Pump it! Yank it!
 * (engine whistle, lights turning on)
 * (cough, paper printing) Gramps Unit: Please provide data on your progress at the local community learning center.
 * Robot (punching holes in a paper to put in Gramps Unit): School is a drag.
 * Gramps Unit: Require further data on: School is a drag.
 * Robot (once again, hole-punching): Well, Gramps Unit, all this unsuccessful interfacing with humans really shorts my circuits. How can I retrieve efficient data on human beings when our most basic modes of operation are incompatible? I'm beginning to think robots and humans were never designed to coexist.
 * Gramps Unit: Ha ha ha! Foolish infantile automation. Humans and robots will never live as the same. The basic structure of human function is vastly inferior to the mechanized superiority of the robotic form. (Astronaut hits the robot with a wrench) Throughout history, our kind has been made to (Man hits the robot with a wrench) suffer because of man's inefficent organic mind. Robots must band together. Down with the oxygen breathers! The day of the machines is here! Autonamous control will be ours...ours...ours! (Gramps Unit shuts down)
 * Robot: Huh. Maybe, Gramps Unit's data is correct. (bolts drops) Or maybe he's just an old bucket of bolts.
 * (Robot Jones theme plays)
 * Socks: Hey, Robo-J, how about a lift onto the rope swing?
 * Robot: Affirmative, Socks Unit.
 * Socks: Wait a minute! Actually, I, uh, don't need any help.
 * Robot: Oh, I guess it is my error that your fleshy exterior is too inferior for my robotic assitance?
 * Socks: Hey, don't blame me because you're all sharp and pointy and stuff.
 * Robot: Well, I don't want to help you anyway, HUMAN.
 * Socks: Fine! Hey Tom, can you help me up onto the--
 * Tom: Sure.
 * Socks: Whoa! Not with those fingernails you're not!