Rules of Dating/Transcript

WARNING: PLEASE NOTE, THIS TRANSCRIPT HAS BEEN CONCLUDED BY UNSIGNED USER “B PURCELL” AS INCOMPLETE AND A WORK IN PROGRESS; MORE COMING SOON....

 * (Title card appears. The bus is constantly jumping up and down)
 * Kid 1: Yeah, so I asked Stephanie to Rog's party.
 * Kid 2: Stephanie's rad. Who are you inviting to Rog's?
 * Robot: I shall ask... Shannon. (looks dreamily) I will ask her now.
 * Shannon: (talking to other girls) Aaa! Oh no! It's that Robot Jones! Eww!
 * Kid 3: Don't make eye contact with him.
 * Kid 4: Maybe he'll go away.
 * (The girls left)
 * Robot: Hello, Shannon. I would like to enquire you about your availability. (bump) How would you like to come with me to the-- (bump) Activate magnetic traction assister. (bump) I would like you to accompany me this Fri--(the bus stops)
 * Bus Driver: Bus stop!
 * Shannon: Um, I'm getting off here.
 * Robot: I would like to invite you to--
 * Bus Driver: Stop horsing around back there and get off!
 * Shannon: Hush, Robot. Such a dork.
 * (transitions)
 * Robot: Good evening, Mom Unit. What items are on the nourishment agenda?
 * Mom Unit: Before eating nourishment, you must study your modern Robot Code, laws 8 through 12.
 * Robot: Grumble. Grumble. Grumble.
 * (transitions)
 * Computer: Today's lesson: The modern robot's Rules of Conduct, laws 8, 9, 10, 11.
 * Robot: This seems most uninteresting. I would much prefer to study... Shannon.
 * (electrocutes Robot) Computer: Pay attention, Robot. Rule #8: The modern robot never speak unless spoken to by a human.
 * Robot: Hhh. (Computer threatens Robot)
 * Computer: Rule #9: A robot must speak loudly and clearly to be understood by humans. Rule #10: A robot must always utilize its services to help human counterparts in a crisis. Rule #11: A robot must follow the rules and regulations of any establishment it is in at the time. Any unit breaking the rules will apologize and report to a refueling port. And finally, the most important rule of all: Any malfunctioning robot must protect surrounding humans by self destructing. Master these rules and you too can have successful human/robot integration.
 * Robot: I would sure like to get intergrated with Shannon.
 * (transitions)
 * Mr. McMcMc: Your primary concern in elementary algebra is to factor, factor, factor! Here's an example.
 * (Robot looks dreamily at Shannon) Mitch: Dude, what is up with you?
 * Robot: I wish to achieve intergration with Shannon. But, it seems my current methods are ineffective.
 * Mitch: You know what your problem is, Robot? You've got no game.
 * Robot: I have over 50 games on my CD-ROM.
 * Mitch: Aww, not that kind of game. I mean game like, the rules on how to get a date with the chick.
 * Robot: Rules? Yes, I do have rules on how intergrate with humans. (Mitch gives Robot a thumbs up)
 * Mr. McMcMc: Shannon, would you please solve the problem on the board.
 * Shannon: What? Aww, man!
 * Robot: Shannon seems to be having trouble with that math equation. I wish I can help her.
 * (flashback)
 * Computer: A robot must always utilize its services to help human counterparts in a crisis.
 * Robot: That's it! (Robot goes to the board)
 * Shannon: What are you doing?
 * Robot: Offering my assistance.
 * Shannon: Get lost, I don't need any help from--
 * Mr. McMcMc: Did you say help? Well, that's a grand idea! Maybe, Robot can help Shannon with her math homework!
 * (prints number) Robot: Here's my telephone number. Please call at your convenience. (Shannon left)
 * (transitions)
 * Mrs. Westerburg: Now, don't forget to call your study partner, Shannon.
 * Shannon: That dorky robot probaly plugged the phone into his old home waiting for me to call.
 * Mrs. Westerburg: You know, that little robot can help you get into one of those Ivy League colleges you always dreamed about.
 * Shannon: Ivy League?
 * (dreams) Cool Guy: So, I told Professor Jenkins: Why don't you simply let me skip the class?
 * Shannon: Ahh. Dreamy college guys.
 * (transitions, the phone's ringing)
 * Robot: I'll get it!
 * (Flashback) Computer: The modern robot never speaks unless spoken to by a human.
 * (Shannon hangs up)
 * Operator: If you decide to make a call, please hang up and dial again.
 * Robot: Alright, I will.
 * (Shannon calls again, the phone rings)
 * Shannon: Why don't you say something, you freak!
 * (Shannon hangs up) Robot: This is becoming more of a bummer.
 * Shannon: And so, I like, wait there on the phone for him to say something forever.
 * Girl: You poor thing. (school bell rings) Well, see you there at Roger's!
 * Shannon: You! What's up with that creepy phone call last night?
 * Robot: I was adhering to rule #8.
 * Shannon: Rules? What are you talking about?
 * Robot: The Modern Robot Code of Human Intergration.
 * Shannon: Look, I don't know what magazine you get your "intergration" rules from, but you better stop being such a loser! Be at my house, 7pm tonight.
 * Robot: Activating time. Hours until 7pm. 9 hours 59 seconds. 9:58. 9:57. 9:56. 9:55. (transitions) 4. 3. 2. 1. (timer ends, Robot rings the bell)
 * (Flashback)
 * Computer: A robot must speak loudly and clearly to be understood by humans.
 * Mrs. Westerburg: Oh, well, hello.
 * Robot: Hello, I am Robot Jones. I have come to offer my assistance to... Shannon... with her math study.
 * Mrs. Westerburg: Well, aren't we the polite little man... uhh, machine. Please come in, I'll go get Shannon. Why don't you have a seat?
 * (Robot scans, and gets the chair. Mr. Westerburg screams)
 * Robot: I am Robot Jones. I have come to meet Shannon---
 * Mr. Westerburg: Stop! I'm not sure what the rules are in your crazy robot house, but around here, we use our "indoor voices".
 * Robot: I have violated one of your house rules. Accept my apology. Please redirect me to the nearest electrical refueling port so that I may reboot and reflect on my mistakes.
 * Mr. Westerburg: Uh... okay.
 * (Robot goes inside the refueling port)
 * Shannon: Now, what am I doing?
 * Robot: I am observing rule number 11.
 * Shannon: Oh criminy.
 * (The phone rings)
 * Shannon: The phone! (answers) Hello? I know, I wanna go to Roger's, but I gotta try and to *** this... ugh... super dorktimus robot!
 * Mrs. Westerburg: Shannon, who are you talking to?